Moderately Amusing Since 1995

(Source: mattystanfield, via drdawg)

batman: i've got plans, detailed plans, to take down every superhero on the earth, in case they go rogue. i've even prepared to stop superman.
batman: oh shit, two-face is back in town. he's got upwards of two guns and everything. shit. fuck. what do i do. shit
teacher: alright fold your papers in half
entire class: hot dog or hamburger

drake & josh

season 1: drake helps josh w/ a crush
season 4: drake & josh accidentally sell an orangutan to a man who eats orangutans

contrist:

I want to sit with someone at 3 am and talk. Like really talk. I want you to tell me what keeps you up at night, that dream you keep having, what certain songs make you feel like, what you think happens after death. Talk to me about your family and your dreams.

(via bloogue)

Anonymous asked: What's wrong?

My parents ruin my life. And this isn’t the angsty teenage “UGH YOU RUIN MY LIFE” kind of thing. This is a “we won’t tell me important things that pertain to my existence and that causes me to have ridiculous problems” kind of thing.

17 days
I can do it.

flewor:

"was that awkward eye contact or were we checking eachother out" - a life story

(Source: flewor, via hi)

goobsohard:

The sexual tension between two people when one of them says “make me”

(via onyeplaysdrums)